How I fell into caring for you is unbeknownst to me. Maybe it’s always the unattainable that becomes so easily attained when you give yourself too freely.
This is my letter, to you, the person I could have loved, my almost love.
I’ve thought about writing this letter more than once, and every time there was the “almost guy”, I stopped myself short. They were never enough to be the almost guy, they were just a guy that things didn’t seem to play out well with.
But you, you came into my world so organically. Of all things to share, we shared a schedule. And it seemed that you popped out of nowhere and straight into my life. Of 50,000 people, you were one, and it was a great kind of thing.
A singular human being can change the way you look at the world; just ask the people who are in love. They look through their eyes not only as lovers, but as caretakers and friends. They heighten such a keen awareness and passion in you. They light the ember that slowly turns into a flame, and before you know it, your whole body is alight.
That’s the kind of thing you did for me.
You lit up a whole new side of me, one that I wasn’t aware of and not only until you came along did I ever feel so alive.
I gave up believing in the kind of magic that happens when things occur through coincidence, but you changed that. And it takes so much of someone, and something to change the way you evaluate life.
But this was you, and you made this kind of goofy remark about how the world needs more laughs and less straight faces.
I didn’t fall in love with you, no. But what did happen was that I found myself by giving a piece of me away. I recognize that this is who I am; one to care too quickly, to jump ship before the alarm, to dive in head first in shallow water, and suffer the consequences in the aftermath.
These are the things you taught me when you became my almost.
And I loved every minute of it, almost so much that I could have loved you.
And this is my letter, to remind you that sometimes, the best things in life almost always pass you by.
Much Love, Miranda