It all sounds sad now,

It feels weightless

To carry you in my mind

To love you with my heart

Nothing I’ve ever known

Will feel this empty

And full

All at once.

My skin remembers

How hot the June sun burned

And the tan lines lasted

Just long enough

For you to come

And go.

I turned on the ceiling fan

To spin one last night on high

So our limbs could linger

Long after the passion was tamed

And the sweat made my skin

Stick to the sheets

And to you.

That same skin

Has shed itself

And looks just as it did last January

When it wouldn’t know

That you’d make it feel so.

No amount of tan lines

Sunscreen

Ceiling fans

Or late nights

Can wash away the touch.

Because my heart knows

All the places you’ve been.

And I carry you with me always

In this cloud

Weightless

Heavy

Lusting

Loving.

 

My ears hear the same song

That you played on repeat

All I know:

It sounds sad now.

~m.j.t.

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Author: mirandatran

In constant pursuit of my best life, best self, and the very things that set my soul on fire.

2 thoughts on “It all sounds sad now,”

  1. Wow. 🙂 I recently got out of a four year relationship. She immediately got a rebound guy and that cut me deeper than I could’ve ever imagined. This love thing used to be easy, it used to be fun, it used to be life. And now it’s just ash, an empty nothingness gripping a hammer that brings its weight down on the top of me and drives me back down to earth, back to reality. It’s good for me though, I’ve learnt a lot and I’ve thickened my skin. I regret ever meeting her, and kissing her that one night under that one tree on the side of that road… but at the same time, I’m happy it happened… Because she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. =]

    1. Thank you for this anecdote, it reminds me about the beauty of sharing writing, and the way words can trigger certain moments. Although, I’m sorry that the love you once had, has burned you so. That’s the thing about it all- the double edged nature; it can heal you, wrap you in its wholeness and even complete you. And in the next instance, it can bring you down to your knees wishing and praying that it could have all been a dream. But you’ve come out the other end all the wiser. You’re more capable to love deeper, feel deeper. To know that your heart can extend so far into another is a beautiful thing. Just keep on loving, and living, and don’t ever regret the great moments. They make this life, this pair of skin and bones, worth it.

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