Because being grateful is just the easy part

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There are many things we forget to be thankful for; whether it be food in the fridge, or sweatpants on lazy days- but more importantly, we forget to say WHO we’re thankful for.

And this is for you, for being my sister.
I know that we never HAD to get along in life, and that some people never really get to love someone and share the relationship that we do.
But for us, I know you’re more than just someone I share my genetics with.
You are the person that helps color in all the spaces in life. We made family vacations our own adventures. We made sure that we got drunk, got high, got good on all the things life had to give. We survived first kisses, first loves, and even when I learned to ride a bike. Then eventually there was heartbreak, and when everyone else failed to understand the hurt the world had put into my life; you sat by me silently, patiently, held my hand, cradled my head on your shoulder, and wished away all the bad things in the world.
I hope that when the day comes, that some boy comes waltzing into your world; that he treat you well and kind, and may he never break your heart, because you’re the heart breaker. But- I know not every girl is immune to the ways of boys, and that sometimes they may steal your love, take it for granted, and make you feel less than beautiful. May you always look at yourself through my eyes, and see the way the world is better for you, and that boys may come and go, but sisters are forever. And if you forget what a boss ass b***h you really are, you come find me, and let me sit by you silently, patiently, holding your hand, cradling your head on my shoulder, and let me wish away all the bad things in the world. Because I know that you’ve done this for me, and I will always be here to do those things for you.
So sister, may the world be your oyster, may you conquer it at the helm, and i’ll be right beside you. Riding shotgun, taking names, and making lists. Everything and anything. From here to ninety lifetimes.
So, this is my thank you to you. As small in the world it may be, and it may never encompass everything that I will ever be grateful for, may you always be reminded.
You are my rock and my grounding place, for every mistake, bad outfit, late night, early morning, hangover, one night stand, family vacation- home and afar.
I love you, and thank you for all you are, all you do, and all you may become.
Always, always.
Sillyhaha

Much Love, Miranda 

N’OkCupid; that is not okay.

okcupid
taken from thedailybanter.com

 “Less like a serial killer, and more like our next  Friday night.”

There are many things technology has changed  for you, and your dating life is one of them.

I’ve recently decided to throw myself into the  mix, and try online dating for the first time, and  let me tell you… IT IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE OUT THERE.

Once you sign up, they have you fill out your  profile; so you add a few pictures, a bio about  yourself, and some things that may spark interest between you and the next 2000 people who will see your profile. You try to make yourself seem pretty neat; either embrace the weird, or play yourself down to just about as average as you can be- either way, there’s all sorts of crazy for you to choose from.

Once you are done, sit back, and watch all those percent based matches out there come flocking your way.

So, after I’ve weeded through a hefty handful of men’s profiles, desperately seeking for someone to be normal. I’ve learned that there are a few ground rules we ladies should lay down for you, in the hopes that you come off less like a serial killer, and more like our next Friday night (or every Friday night if you’re looking for the long haul)

 

  1. Your “CLEVER” Username: we get that you like bongos, and bongs, and your dashing good looks; but do not, and I mean ever throw in the following to your username: TREE, BONGOS, KING, CHIEF, FIRE, LAVA, GUCCI, FENDI, PRADA, and LOUIS VUITTON can come too. Choose something witty, and that doesn’t speak about how you like to spell or spend something.
  2. The BATHROOM Selfie: more than 75% of the profile pictures guys choose consist of their own, homegrown, bathroom selfie. Meaning you’ve decided that a front facing selfie just wouldn’t cut it; so you opted for including the toilet, your mess of a sink, and maybe even you being pant-less? Either way, no girl ehem, WOMAN, wants to see any of your nasty, so just lock that shit up, and take a picture of your face, with your front facing camera and your pants on.
  3. The EVERY TATTOO Selfie: we get that you’re tatted, and some girls really love a guy with some ink in his skin, and maybe even a nice eyebrow piercing to match; but when we’ve got 6 different shots of you from six different angles, just to let us know how much you’ve got going on that canvas of yours, we wonder what won’t be a surprise when we finally meet you. Keep some things to yourself, and let us ask you instead!
  4. The PROM Photo: we get that you loved high school, or maybe you and your prom date looked so cute matching in your tux and gown; but when you’re twenty-fucking-five and talking about how you’re going to graduate UNIVERSITY soon, maybe you should invest in pictures that aren’t FIVE YEARS OLD. Especially when you’ve gained 30 pounds, and started that receding hairline. Just don’t make us pass you up because you couldn’t grow up.
  5. The last comment to note ISN’T about the kinds of photos you post, because either way, you’ll probably take more selfies from many more angles, and think they’re inherently better than the last. So, instead, if you’re going to message a girl about how you may just be the 94% perfect man of her dreams, DON’T message her asking if you “could slide on up in there”. Because the only thing you’ll be sliding is a tab with our profiles, over and over, and know that we see how many times you click on it. We see it, EVERY TIME.

 

Coco Chanel said it best “A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous” So treat us like you would face to face, and quoting Ms. Coco Chanel should be the only brand name rolling off that tongue.

Join the OkCupid dating world- it will all be alright- just remember a few of these tips, and continue on trying to pursue us. Fill out those damn profiles, and tell us about the six things you can’t do without. If any of this has offended you boy’s men out there, maybe it’s time that you change your profile, starting with tip #1.

Much Love, Miranda